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Mindy:Welcome to the BiggerPockets Money Podcast, Show Number 169, where we bring Erin Lowry back again to talk about normalizing money discussions with everyone in your life. And with me as always is my drinking from the fire hose co-host, Scott Trench. Mindy:Scott and I are here to make financial independence less scary, less just for somebody else. Scott:Whether you want to retire early and travel the world and go on to make big time investments in assets like real estate, start your own business, or simply have a tough money conversation with friends, family or coworkers. I love Erin because of her practical, no nonsense approach to handling finances. We first spoke to Erin back on guaranteed loans with bad credit episode 24, where she talked about Getting Financially Naked with your Partner. We brought her back again on episode 81 to talk about Investing Basics. I think this is a great conversation about conversations. And I think that this is a really good intro in how to begin having those conversations and the nuances and differences about having them with friends versus with coworkers or bosses.

Erin has really done a lot of research into having the conversation. She gives you a lot of tips, not only in the show, but she has a new book out called Broke Millennial Talks Money. Because I really do want to normalize having short term loan no credit check the conversation about money. Erin Lowry, welcome back again to the BiggerPockets Money podcast. Why do we need to be having conversations about money with people in our lives?

Why are you pushing this taboo subjects on everybody? You can construct this beautifully made financial house for yourself. And that stuff to me is obviously sending messages as well about, is it appropriate? Mindy:I remember watching The Breakfast Club, not having any concept of what a good salary was. At the end of the day, we are concerned what other people think of us, particularly people that we love and we care about. We will probably cop to certain things to a complete stranger. And with your best friend, oh-oh, they might judge me for what I just said about how much credit card debt I have, or the fact I have student loans, or the fact that we made a bad real estate choice. Scott:How do you like to approach solving this problem? And I hope that that makes it more comfortable for other people. I go through some of the embarrassment upfront so other people maybe you can use me as an example. But being able to have a template of how to have the conversation is really helpful. Scott:I want to know what the hardest conversation is.

Can you give us the easiest one, guaranteed loans with bad credit and then the hardest one?

Easiest, I personally feel like is a lot of the friend dynamic conversations. But oftentimes, your friends are in pretty similar age demographics, not necessarily the same financial situation. And that is an interesting point that gets brought up by one of the financial therapists in the book is that not everybody is a lifer in your relationship dynamics. That everyone is going to be there your entire life. Now, if you get vulnerable with a romantic partner or a family member, that can feel a bit more amped.

So, what you just said is really, really, really powerful.

And I want to make sure that everybody hears that not everybody in your life right now is going to be in your life forever. I also want to clarify, we do, as humans, tend to self-segregate throughout our lives. As we hit different life stages, this stuff tends to happen. We tend to starter loans eventually start to socialize with people who are in a relative socioeconomic bracket to ourselves. There should be a diversity of people that you have in your life, including socioeconomically.

Give them a counter offer for the thing that they want to do. Because saying no but then also providing a counter offer is a way more palatable way to do it than just saying no, no context, no counter.


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If you keep saying no, eventually, people are going to stop asking. So of course, you want to pay for your birthday friend, but then they choose this super expensive restaurant. I remember going out to dinner and I could afford it. Erin:One of my favorite lines from the book is Melanie Lockert, who is the author of Dear Debt and The Mental Health and small dollar loans Wealth podcast, has this really great line for that exact scenario about do you want to feel the embarrassment or the resentment? And I can throw a little bit in for like tax tip and the birthday girl and have water and get through this situation.

Now, a couple of things to back it up, before you even get to the bill at the dinner, part of it is setting the healthy boundaries before your foot steps into that restaurant. If there are no prices on the menu online, yikes, red flag. Look also on Yelp and see how many dollar signs there are. I do have to tell you this is really my budgetary limits. And just thinking about it ahead of time is really, really smart. Erin:And the afford and the value are two really important bad credit loans not payday loans words here.

That was more a bit focused on romantic relationships. But truly, in pretty much any relationship dynamic, you can have a perpetual problem where both parties are right, no one is technically wrong, but you have different opinions that forever clash. So, a good example is one person wants to get to the airport two hours early. The other person wants to get there 45 minutes early. Scott:Do you guys think birthdays are a particularly good example of where these values begin to collide? Scott:People value their birthdays very differently.

Because anybody who talks about money, values, values, values, that comes up all the time.

The idea of spending in alignment with your values. Now, one thing I will push on as we are in this friends conversation, your friendships and your relationship should be something you value and want to invest small consumer loans in.

And that also needs to be part of this conversation is I have started talking pretty publicly about the fact of big regret of mine financially was how much I fixated on earning and not spending in my early 20s. And really to the detriment of a lot of my relationships then. Get a blanket, go and get some nice cheese and a nice bottle of wine and have a conversation with your friend. I mean, you can buy a much nicer thing of cheese and wine or have it more frequently if you go to the store and buy it versus if you go to the restaurant and sit down and order it that way. Erin:And you can, of course come up with creative ways to do things. You want to have people in your life as in this is family, this is friends. So, just on this topic, for me, my thing was, I like to drink too many beers on the weekends and have run up a little bit of a tab at the bar occasionally, especially in the early 20s.


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And so, what I tried to do is reduce my housing and transportation and other food expenses, so that I would have plenty leftover guaranteed loans with bad credit cheapest payday loans to continue to save, and to invest in those types of things.

And sometimes, you got to do that because your friend that is getting married wants to do a bachelor party in Vegas, you got to have a slush fund for that.

Especially, as some of them become long distance friendships, as life changes, particularly if you live in a big city, people tend to move.

I got a buddy who we used to hang out all the time in Denver, and he moved away. We just have it on our calendar in recurring basis. And you said something- Mindy:Oh, I have got to stop this conversation for just a moment and tell an embarrassing story about Scott.

I was able to meet his mother and father for breakfast before the wedding. But his mother did a little bit more of the talking than his father did. And one of the things that he put on the list for his VA to do was call his mother and say hello and let her know that he is well. I also love the difference in parents where I feel like my dad would lowkey find that really funny and amazing. I think about my mother-in-law, if my husband ever did something like that, she would lose her mind. So, we got used to long stretches of time without more than a little email here and there. Those are ones you build up for weeks or months before approaching your boss, and having frank-ish conversations there. So, one of the big questions I feel like always gets asked is when do I ask for a raise?

The first, about the when, I was actually pretty surprised when interviewing negotiating experts.

However, also, mind you, a lot of guaranteed loans with bad credit these tactics are important for self-employed people. Because decisions and budgets have already been made and set. So instead, what you need to do is figure out when does that annual review normally happen. About three to four months prior is when you want to set a meeting with your manager to have a conversation where you ask for constructive criticism and also tell them what you want.

Or it could just be maybe the two of you meet every other week. And this is a standing meeting that you have anyway and bringing it up in one of those meetings. I think the other important thing to note when it comes to work is also the difference between a mentor and a sponsor. But is somebody who can advocate for you and vouch for you in your actual office.